August 31, 2022

Putting A Marriage Back Together An After Infidelity 5 Tips

Submitted by: Robbie T. James

It is a familiar scene every summer along popular beaches everywhere: two kids get together to build a magnificent sand castle, complete with retainer walls, towers, and a moat or two. Then, out of the blue, one of them decides that it is time to destroy the sand castle. To the dismay of the other, after few seconds of stomping and trouncing, the castle is razed to the ground. And that’s it: an hour or two of hard work destroyed in a just a few moments’ time.

Substitute a few key elements of this scene and it becomes an accurate description of how a married person feels when they find out their spouse has cheated on them. A single infidelity – whether it be a one-night stand, a brief affair, or a long-term infidelity – can instantaneously decimate the trust in a marriage the moment it all comes to light. At that point, the only real question becomes: can the decimated marriage ever recover the love and trust that once existed there?

If you are interested in putting a marriage back together after an infidelity, check out these 5 tips:

1. Commit in your hearts to making it work:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6yKXURSYqU[/youtube]

Regardless of whether it was you or your spouse who committed the infidelity, both of you will need to come to terms with what really happened. It is likely that there were some issues in the marriage before, and thus the responsibility for the underlying marital issues needs to be shared by both husband and wife. To put your marriage back together, you are going to need to commit in your own hearts to make things work again.

2. Agree that you will talk about your feelings openly:

Next, it is essential that the two of you agree to talk openly about your feelings. Neither one of you should hold back in terms of how this whole thing has made you feel. Do not self-edit when it comes to expressing yourself. Remember that sharing any type of feeling is okay, as long as it is honest and sincere. Hint: start every sentence with the phase, “I feel .. . “

3. Also, agree that you will listen unconditionally:

Along with the agreement to talk openly, you both need to agree to listen unconditionally to each other. Only by really listening without judging can you get to the point where you can open your hearts to what is really going on. Avoid the temptation to lead each other’s thoughts: just let it flow.

4. Avoid blaming each other for your own pain:

A very essential part of talking openly and listening unconditionally is to focus solely on feelings, rather than blaming. Blame makes both people – the cheating person and the injured person – feel less open to letting the healing process begin. Blame makes the heart clam up.

5. Agree to follow a plan back to a healthy, trusting relationship:

Finally, you need to agree to seek a path of healing together. The path that any given couple takes will be unique. It may include finding online courses to guide you through the process, or going to a counselor, or continuing to talk through your feelings. However, given the nature and seriousness of an infidelity in a marriage, you will greatly benefit from having some type of structure to your healing process.

Follow these 5 tips for putting your marriage back together after an infidelity.

About the Author: Find tools and techniques needed to survive an affair that were designed by an expert who has helped over 10,000 couples do the same at:

We Can Survive The Affair

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Source:

isnare.com

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